Enough, Part 2

I had lunch with a dear friend last week. To be honest, I hoped she hadn't read my last post.  She's pregnant, and I wanted to talk about her baby--about cravings and names and maternity clothes. I don't see her as often as I'd like to, and I wanted it to be a sweet, happy lunch. We talked about all the lovely baby stuff, and then she gave me a gift and a card.

She told me that she read my post, and that this is the point in friendship when sometimes two friends walk away from each other for a while, because the pain and the awkwardness and the tenderness is too great. She said she thought we could do better than that. 

And then she gave me two pairs of safety goggles.

She said, "When you feel like shattering something, I'll be right there with you.  I'll help you break it, and I'll help you clean it up."

She said, "You've been celebrating with me, and I'll be here to grieve with you.  We can do this together."

It took my breath away. We cried together at the restaurant, and I'm crying on my keyboard as I type.  What an extraordinary gift.

May you have the deep sense that whatever you're longing for, you're not alone. Pull back the curtain, and you'll find that we're all yearning for something, managing the pain in the meantime, praying desperate prayers. 

You're not alone.

And if by God's grace & sweetness, you're celebrating right now, celebrate wholly and deeply. And then grab two sets of safety goggles and show up on someone's doorstep, because I'd imagine that someone in your life is grieving alone. Don't let that happen.

This is it, the challenge of friendship, to celebrate and grieve together even when all we want to do is one or the other. Be like my dear friend. Give someone in your life the extraordinary gift she gave me--the willingness to reach across from celebration into pain, an invitation to be the kind of friends who can bridge that terrible gap. 

Comments

[laura @ hollywood housewife]

Wow. This is breathtaking.

[jackie]

this is beautiful. i am getting a little teary myself.

thank you for sharing. your words, whether on your blog or in your books, remind me that i am not alone.

[jessica]

and this post made yet another cry. what a sweet, sweet friend and what a precious reminder.

[Jessica]

thank you for sharing this. I liked the chapter in bittersweet about saying something even when you don't know what to say. I've been on both ends, not knowing what to say and the person who everyone avoids or doesn't know how to tell that they're pg. This is beautiful.

[holly]

weep weep weepy.....and that is life.
the blessings....the disappointments...
the friends who are with you...the friends who can't....
the friends who try to get it....the friends who don't...
but this friend....
what an extraordinary gift. what an extraordinary friend.
love that story...
still weepy...

[Terri]

Thanks Shauna --- now I'm sitting here crying at work !! What a sweet sweet post !

[Your mom]

Dear sweet, lovely girl, you made me rain all over my computer--again. And to Shauna's dear sweet, lovely friend (I'm pretty sure I know who you are)--thank you for being such a good friend to her. You are rare!

[Katie]

What a fantastic follow-up to your last post. Thanks for sharing this moment that you had with your friend with the rest of us. So beautiful.

[Katie @ cakes, tea and dreams]

What a beautiful gesture of friendship. So precious.

[Amanda]

This is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing.

[Robyn jones Clark]

Beautiful..

[Linda B.]

Ok now I'm crying too. I love her tender response. That is the kind of resonse that cements friendships and draws people together... and so much what life is about... walking together through it all.

[Courtney Ann]

This put into words exactly what I have been feeling with my friends getting married. I went through a terrible breakup recently and now it seems everyone of my girlfriends is either already engaged or about to be. thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[Emily]

Absolutely beautiful. Thank you.

[Kelly]

so good.

[beyourdistraction.blogspot.com]

This is lovely. Thank you.

[Meredith]

An amazing gift of friendship! PTL! This really blew me away and well I can only imagine what it did to you! PTL for friends! Blessings to you and your sweet friend!

[Megan]

This post almost made me cry this morning. Such a beautiful expression of love and friendship.

Additionally, in my google reader skimming this morning I also came across this post with a recommendation for Bittersweet by Centsational Girl. Made me smile, so I thought I would share it with you. http://bit.ly/g3XMlQ

[beardedladyphotography.blogspot.com]

this is so inspiring to me! Such a sweet friend. Such a blessing! Thank God for friends like that : )

[Sharon R]

What a wise friend- God blessed you with her creativity and sensitivity in ways that will impact many people beyond your table. Thank you for sharing- my heart is overflowing and I will be taking the goggles to a dear friend.